Coming Out As A Nudist
It’s a lot easier to be naked in front of strangers, than our family and friends. That’s something a lot of people have told me, and something I’ve experienced too. If a stranger judges our bodies, or thinks we are weird or perverted for being naked, it’s no big deal. We never had any emotional investment in them and we don’t have to see or talk to them again anyway. But when it comes to family and friends, we worry that our nudism might cause conflict, so many of us either hide our nudism altogether, or don’t discuss it or express it around those who matter most to us. This is a shame, since it’s with our loved ones that we should feel most comfortable to be our true selves.
Everyone’s in a different situation, and I wouldn’t give any one-size-fits-all advice on coming out, or being naked around family members. That’s something you need to decide based on your own knowledge of your family. For some people, it really is going to be best to just keep it to themselves, and I respect that. But I do think a lot of people could be more open than they are, if they only knew how to broach the subject, or thought more realistically about how coming out would effect the relationship. So I wanted to talk a bit about “coming out” as a nudist, to hopefully help some people make that leap.
Firstly, you should recognise that the fear of damaging the relationship is acting on your family members too. They value the relationship as much as you do, so they also have a vested interest in accepting you for who you are. If they love you, are they really going to throw all that away just because you’re a nudist? This is where a bit of assertiveness comes in handy. You need to let them know that this is important to you, and explain what it’s about. You’re not asking their permission to be a nudist, you’re telling them that you are, and doing it in a way that helps them to accept it.
There are several different ways of doing this, some better than others. My preferred method is to slip it in when it comes up naturally in conversation, so that it doesn’t come across like you’re making a big deal about it. The conversation might go something like:
“Hey, how was your weekend?”
“It was great, I went down to the nude beach on Saturday.”
Talking like it’s totally normal will set the right tone for any ensuing conversations and questions they might have, and then you can launch into a more in-depth discussion about nudism and what it means to you. It can also feel less awkward, since it came up naturally in conversation, rather than you bringing it up in a more formal way. The obvious downside is that you have to wait for a natural opportunity to bring it up, which might not arise when you need it to.
Another method is the more formal “coming out” where you instigate a conversation specifically to tell someone that you’re a nudist. This might work better for people you suspect might have a more difficult time accepting it, because it gives you an opportunity to prepare them, and to plan ahead what you’re going to say. I haven’t used this method myself, but I would suggest if you’re going to use it, to make sure you stay calm, even if they get emotional, and to explain clearly what nudism is and why it’s important to you, and be prepared with answers to any questions or objections that they might have.
Then there’s the “Surprise, I’m naked” method. This one you need to be careful with when and who you use it on, because people may feel shocked, or like they’ve been ambushed. You should probably only do this if it’s someone you feel confident won’t be phased by it. This is how I was first naked in front of my brother and sister. Both times were at beaches, and when we decided to go swimming, I took my clothes off and swam naked. However, they already knew I was a nudist, and I know them well enough to be pretty sure they wouldn’t be shocked or offended. I think this one also works better in situations where nudity doesn’t seem as much of a transgression of social norms, like skinny dipping, or being naked in your own house when they pop in unannounced. Don’t show up to a big family gathering naked without warning. Even people who would otherwise have been accepting will likely feel that you’ve behaved rudely by not asking first.
There’s also a big difference between people accepting that you’re a nudist, and being comfortable with you being naked around them. It’s much easier to tackle these one at time, by talking about it first, before getting naked.
When you do talk about it, however you choose to bring it up, you need to be assertive, without coming across like a jerk. You need to let them know that this is your choice, and how you choose to live. But you want to give them the best opportunity to be able to accept you, and that means broaching the subject gently, explaining things to them in a way they will understand, and listening and responding politely to any of their concerns.
Hopefully, once you’ve done this, they will accept, or at least tolerate the knowledge that you are a nudist. But you should be prepared with what you’re going to do if they don’t. Only you can decide this. In my opinion, if they tell you that they don’t want anything to do with you unless you stop being a nudist, they are being controlling and manipulative, and you shouldn't cave in to it. I’m sure this is quite a difficult thing to do, and not something I’ve experienced personally. You might feel guilty, like you have caused the relationship to go bad. But always remember, it isn’t your nudism that caused the rift between you, it is their intolerance that did.
However, I think this is pretty unlikely that close friends and family members will simply disown you for being a nudist if the disapprove. There is a whole spectrum of levels of acceptance that people might fall on. Some might accept it, but not want you to be naked around them. Some might be OK with you being naked with them in certain circumstances, like at the beach or at your house, but not others, like at their house. Some might be comfortable with it wherever you feel comfortable. Some might even become comfortable being naked themselves around you, knowing that you don’t see nudity as a taboo. It’s likely that people will become more open given more time to come to grips with it, so I suggest not being too pushy to begin with at least.
Finally, you do need to pick your battles. Maybe all you want is for your family and friends to know and accept that you’re a nudist, but don’t actually want to be naked around them. Maybe with some distant family member you don’t see very often anyway, it’s not worth the bother of bringing it up, especially if it will cause tension with other family members who are closer to them. On the other hand, maybe there’s someone you’re not that close to anyway, so it’s easiest to just be blunt about it, and let them accept you or leave you. Who knows, maybe their acceptance will bring you closer together. The important thing is that you decide who to tell, and how to tell them, and that you respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself if people disapprove.
Hopefully this guide is helpful to people. As always, please let me know if you have any questions or comments. My DMs on twitter are always open.
Everyone’s in a different situation, and I wouldn’t give any one-size-fits-all advice on coming out, or being naked around family members. That’s something you need to decide based on your own knowledge of your family. For some people, it really is going to be best to just keep it to themselves, and I respect that. But I do think a lot of people could be more open than they are, if they only knew how to broach the subject, or thought more realistically about how coming out would effect the relationship. So I wanted to talk a bit about “coming out” as a nudist, to hopefully help some people make that leap.
Firstly, you should recognise that the fear of damaging the relationship is acting on your family members too. They value the relationship as much as you do, so they also have a vested interest in accepting you for who you are. If they love you, are they really going to throw all that away just because you’re a nudist? This is where a bit of assertiveness comes in handy. You need to let them know that this is important to you, and explain what it’s about. You’re not asking their permission to be a nudist, you’re telling them that you are, and doing it in a way that helps them to accept it.
There are several different ways of doing this, some better than others. My preferred method is to slip it in when it comes up naturally in conversation, so that it doesn’t come across like you’re making a big deal about it. The conversation might go something like:
“Hey, how was your weekend?”
“It was great, I went down to the nude beach on Saturday.”
Talking like it’s totally normal will set the right tone for any ensuing conversations and questions they might have, and then you can launch into a more in-depth discussion about nudism and what it means to you. It can also feel less awkward, since it came up naturally in conversation, rather than you bringing it up in a more formal way. The obvious downside is that you have to wait for a natural opportunity to bring it up, which might not arise when you need it to.
Another method is the more formal “coming out” where you instigate a conversation specifically to tell someone that you’re a nudist. This might work better for people you suspect might have a more difficult time accepting it, because it gives you an opportunity to prepare them, and to plan ahead what you’re going to say. I haven’t used this method myself, but I would suggest if you’re going to use it, to make sure you stay calm, even if they get emotional, and to explain clearly what nudism is and why it’s important to you, and be prepared with answers to any questions or objections that they might have.
Then there’s the “Surprise, I’m naked” method. This one you need to be careful with when and who you use it on, because people may feel shocked, or like they’ve been ambushed. You should probably only do this if it’s someone you feel confident won’t be phased by it. This is how I was first naked in front of my brother and sister. Both times were at beaches, and when we decided to go swimming, I took my clothes off and swam naked. However, they already knew I was a nudist, and I know them well enough to be pretty sure they wouldn’t be shocked or offended. I think this one also works better in situations where nudity doesn’t seem as much of a transgression of social norms, like skinny dipping, or being naked in your own house when they pop in unannounced. Don’t show up to a big family gathering naked without warning. Even people who would otherwise have been accepting will likely feel that you’ve behaved rudely by not asking first.
There’s also a big difference between people accepting that you’re a nudist, and being comfortable with you being naked around them. It’s much easier to tackle these one at time, by talking about it first, before getting naked.
When you do talk about it, however you choose to bring it up, you need to be assertive, without coming across like a jerk. You need to let them know that this is your choice, and how you choose to live. But you want to give them the best opportunity to be able to accept you, and that means broaching the subject gently, explaining things to them in a way they will understand, and listening and responding politely to any of their concerns.
Hopefully, once you’ve done this, they will accept, or at least tolerate the knowledge that you are a nudist. But you should be prepared with what you’re going to do if they don’t. Only you can decide this. In my opinion, if they tell you that they don’t want anything to do with you unless you stop being a nudist, they are being controlling and manipulative, and you shouldn't cave in to it. I’m sure this is quite a difficult thing to do, and not something I’ve experienced personally. You might feel guilty, like you have caused the relationship to go bad. But always remember, it isn’t your nudism that caused the rift between you, it is their intolerance that did.
However, I think this is pretty unlikely that close friends and family members will simply disown you for being a nudist if the disapprove. There is a whole spectrum of levels of acceptance that people might fall on. Some might accept it, but not want you to be naked around them. Some might be OK with you being naked with them in certain circumstances, like at the beach or at your house, but not others, like at their house. Some might be comfortable with it wherever you feel comfortable. Some might even become comfortable being naked themselves around you, knowing that you don’t see nudity as a taboo. It’s likely that people will become more open given more time to come to grips with it, so I suggest not being too pushy to begin with at least.
Finally, you do need to pick your battles. Maybe all you want is for your family and friends to know and accept that you’re a nudist, but don’t actually want to be naked around them. Maybe with some distant family member you don’t see very often anyway, it’s not worth the bother of bringing it up, especially if it will cause tension with other family members who are closer to them. On the other hand, maybe there’s someone you’re not that close to anyway, so it’s easiest to just be blunt about it, and let them accept you or leave you. Who knows, maybe their acceptance will bring you closer together. The important thing is that you decide who to tell, and how to tell them, and that you respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself if people disapprove.
Hopefully this guide is helpful to people. As always, please let me know if you have any questions or comments. My DMs on twitter are always open.
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